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Let Go of Shame

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Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning the shame. Hebrews 12:2 Shame is that terrible, private feeling that something is wrong with us—that we are somehow defective as a person. That we are irreparably damaged. That if anyone really knew what we were like we would be rejected. A part of the experience of shame … [Read more...] about Let Go of Shame

Let Go of Shame

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Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning the shame. Hebrews 12:2 Shame is that terrible, private feeling that something is wrong with us—that we are somehow defective as a person. That we are irreparably damaged. That if anyone really knew what we were like we would be rejected. A part of the experience of shame … [Read more...] about Let Go of Shame

Let Go of Shame

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before himendured the cross, scorning the shame.Hebrews 12:2 by Juanita Ryan Shame is that terrible, private feeling that something is wrong with us—that we are somehow defective as a person. That we are irreparably damaged. That if anyone really knew what we were like we would be rejected. … [Read more...] about Let Go of Shame

Shame as a tool of the devil or….how shame stymies spiritual renewal

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I don’t know how to keep shame from creeping into a room. Heck, I don’t even know how to keep shame from eating away at my heart. But because I personally have struggled with shame so much I have learned a few techniques that help me manage it, even as I work and wait for healing. Shame is going to make merry anytime we are trying to improve our conscious contact with God or become more decently … [Read more...] about Shame as a tool of the devil or….how shame stymies spiritual renewal

When Shame is the Name of the Game

These presentations are part of a twelve part course available (in much higher video quality) on three DVD’s. The entire class can be purchased here. For additional information about Jeff VanVonderen visit his web site at www.jeffvanvonderen.com. Session 1: Understanding Shame [ 44 min ] Session 2: Shame and Systems [ 32 min ] Session 3: Shame Based Family Systems [ 33 min … [Read more...] about When Shame is the Name of the Game

Shame is sneaky

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Everyone is quick to point out how much they hate being shamed but it rarely provides an automatic insight to help us not act as shamers. Shame is sneaky and shows up sporting a bunch of different looks. It can be kind of punky, aggressive and direct - attacks on others’ looks, character, ethnicity, etc. It can hide out in silence - when we fail to speak up against wrongdoing. It can really go … [Read more...] about Shame is sneaky

Shame and Spiritual Abuse

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Shame and Spiritual Abuse Last week I had a consulting gig at a church that had a recovery ministry blow up in grand fashion. Lack of leadership accountability, no small doses of codependency and maybe, perhaps, possibly a tiny bit of grandiose thinking and arrogance on the part of the church team that swooped in to clean up the debacle — all of this was stymying the work of restoration. And I … [Read more...] about Shame and Spiritual Abuse

Seeing Others More Clearly Part 1: Barriers to Intimacy

by Juanita Ryan All of us long to love and to be loved. We long to both experience and express respect, kindness and acceptance in our relationships. We want to know and be known, to understand and be understood, to care and be cared for. To love and be loved. But our relationships are often marked by tension, misunderstanding and distance rather than by the safety, empathy and closeness we … [Read more...] about Seeing Others More Clearly Part 1: Barriers to Intimacy

Seeing Others More Clearly Part 2: Moving toward Intimacy

by Juanita Ryan As we saw in Part I of this article, defensive relating leaves us in the dark about ourselves and about those closest to us. Defensive relating can lead us to feelings of anger, bitterness and hatred—toward ourselves and toward the very ones we most want to love. But God calls us to see what is most deeply true about ourselves and about others. We were created by the God of love … [Read more...] about Seeing Others More Clearly Part 2: Moving toward Intimacy