Search Results for: self care

by Juanita Ryan All of us long to love and to be loved. We long to both experience and express respect, kindness and acceptance in our relationships. We want to know and be known, to understand and be understood, to care and be cared for. To love and be loved. But our relationships are often marked by tension, misunderstanding and distance rather than by the safety, empathy and closeness we … [Read more...] about Seeing Others More Clearly Part 1: Barriers to Intimacy

by Juanita Ryan I was a twenty one year old nursing student when I first came across the term "grief work." The phrase jumped out at me as I was reading an article on family dynamics and mental health. I remember responding strongly to the concept of grief as "work." The idea made a lot of sense. The article was about families who had lost a family member. The study focused on how these … [Read more...] about Grief’s Sacred Work

by Matthew Russell I grew up in a church that offered a program for Lent called “Ten Brave Christians”. It was a based upon John Wesley’s famous words, “give me ten brave Christians who fear God and nothing else, and hate sin and nothing else and I will change the world”. In and of itself it was a wonderful program but it came at a time in my adolescence when I was dead-set on performing for … [Read more...] about The Inner Wilderness

by James Ryan Moral inventory shapes our understanding of ourselves, which in turn shapes our relationship with God. Some styles of inventory ask us to take a hard look at our character defects, and this can create a powerful sense of our need for God. Other styles of inventory encourage us to look not just at our shortcomings but at our strengths as well, and so the sense of need for God is … [Read more...] about Four Kinds of Moral Inventory

by Dale S. Ryan Not long ago I heard someone say: "I don't see any need for recovery groups in our congregation because we already have a very vital small group program." This comment started me thinking about the differences between traditional small groups in the local church and recovery groups. I have been a participant in small groups and small group ministries for a long time. I have … [Read more...] about Recovery Groups and Small Groups

byBarbara Milligan While my husband, John, and I felt that we had good reasons for leaving our church home, we didn’t think at first that what we had experienced was spiritual abuse. We had gotten involved in the church knowing that the pastor, Richard, and his wife, Jill (not their real names), were young and perhaps immature in some ways and that they came from a legalistic background. So … [Read more...] about Breaking Free: What I’ve Learned About Spiritual Abuse

by Juanita R. Ryan God is waiting around the next corner with a club to punish me. God has a mean face, I don't like to think of him looking at me. These descriptions of God come from deeply committed Christians. Neither person would have signed a doctrinal statement which described God as someone who carries a large club, or as a someone with a mean face. They both would have affirmed … [Read more...] about Seeing God in New Ways: Recovery from Distorted Images of God