by Juanita Ryan I remember looking in the mirror as a teenager and asking myself, Who am I? Who is that person staring back at me? At the time I didn't realize that I had already been answering that question for many years. As I look back now on those years it is clear to me that my answer to the question Who am I? was, I am a good person. That was who I was; I was good. I had a variety of … [Read more...] about Seeing Ourselves More Clearly
Search Results for: self care
Step Three
by Dale and Juanita Ryan Like all the remaining Steps, Step Three calls for affirmative action, for it is only by action that we can cut away the self-will which has always blocked the entry of God--or, if you like, a Higher Power--into our lives. Faith, to be sure, is necessary, but faith alone can avail nothing. We can have faith, yet keep God out of our lives. Therefore our problem now … [Read more...] about Step Three
Listening to Depression
by Juanita Ryan Carol had been divorced for six months when I first met her. From what she shared of her experience it was obvious that the six months since her divorce had been difficult. Recently, however, she learned that her ex-husband was planning to remarry. Carol had never fully given up the hope that she and her ex-husband might get back together. His intention to remarry made the … [Read more...] about Listening to Depression
Notes to Our Older Selves: Entrust Others to God’s Care
Dear Older Self, Codependency is a term that was originally coined to describe the dynamics that can play out in the lives of people who are in relationship with an addict or an alcoholic. Spouses, children, siblings and parents often think that they are responsible to control or change their addicted loved-one. This belief can, unfortunately, lead to increased suffering and destruction in … [Read more...] about Notes to Our Older Selves: Entrust Others to God’s Care
Notes to Our Older Selves: Write Fear Inventory
Dear Older Self, Remember the time you stood at the kitchen counter, grinding coffee beans as your mind whirled with the grinder? You were managing the care of an elderly widow and her needs were in a rapid state of change. Your mind was spinning, trying to anticipate what to do, when to do it, how to find the resources. But your mind came up blank. And the coffee turned out weak and … [Read more...] about Notes to Our Older Selves: Write Fear Inventory
What I Learned While Our Son Was Still Using Drugs: Part III
The year our oldest son dropped out of high school and became an addict was a very dark and difficult year for us. It was also a time of deeper exposure to life’s most important lessons. I didn’t fully realize it until much later, but it was during that anguished time that I gained a greater understanding of humility, honesty, courage, trust and grace. In this week’s post I want to share with you … [Read more...] about What I Learned While Our Son Was Still Using Drugs: Part III
Theology and Recovery
by Dale Ryan It was a couple of hopeless drunks in Akron, Ohio—not a couple of respectable theologians at a seminary—whom God chose to jump-start the modern recovery movement. I think that was a pretty good decision on God's part. If our problems were just bad theology, then maybe a couple of theologians would have been a better choice. But the problem, for most of us, is not just "in our … [Read more...] about Theology and Recovery
Love Without Limits
by Teresa McBean I hate labels. "I'm just a raging codependent! My therapist swears I'm suffering from the disease of codependency. I personally think my wild kids have just made me crazy!" a woman announces after she sashays into the meeting twenty minutes late. "Who wouldn't be crazy with all the chaos going on in my life?" She chuckles as she says it, inviting the group to … [Read more...] about Love Without Limits
About the Abused
People who have been abused often struggle with the "why me?" question. Was there something about me that caused/prepared me/set me up for the abuse? Is this about me? Does that make me responsible? These questions are particularly acute for people who have experienced multiple forms of abuse in multiple life stages. It is for that reason that it is extremely important to emphasize that the … [Read more...] about About the Abused
Beyond Victimization
by Carmen Renee Berry As is so often the case, the flash of insight that changed my life happened almost accidently. Certainly unexpectedly. While packing to attend a specialized training for urban ministry a few years ago, I threw in a copy of a book that a friend had recommended. I don't know why I even brought the book along; my frantic work style as a social worker specializing in child … [Read more...] about Beyond Victimization
